How to be an exceptional Father

Seven tenets on raising good sons

Great men are in short supply. If this is an issue you're interested in fixing, it is imperative that you as a man consider how you will raise your sons if blessed with the opportunity. Here's a collection of lessons I've learned spanning from my own childhood to now being a father of two boys myself.

1. Don't be afraid to show affection

This rule is the foundation on which successful fatherhood is built. Your son must understand from birth that everything you do comes from a place of love and care for him. This understanding is what allows him to accept your instruction, guidance, discipline, and correction. In order to instill this understanding, you must be affectionate towards him, especially in his earliest formative years.

This means holding him tightly and securely as an infant, staring into his eyes and singing to him before bedtime. This means hugging and kissing him frequently when he is a toddler, and reminding him that you love him as he sits and plays at your feet.

As he grows older, and with each year, this will look differently. But he will know, because you’ve shown him affection since his birth, that he is loved and cherished deeply by his father; without which nothing else you show him will ever be valued.

This affection should be easy. He is your bloodline, your spitting image, and most importantly, he is depending on you for life. It is okay to show him this affection. It is critical. If you do not yet have children, and wonder how a love such as this is possible, have no fear. Somewhere in the seconds after his delivery, as you and your wife stare on in disbelief, you will be hit with a freight train containing all of the love and care and responsibility for him at once. It will overwhelm you with emotion never before experienced, and this is good. This is what makes you a good dad. Hold on to that feeling, because you’re going to need it to get through this long, beautiful, and worthwhile journey.

2. Don't be afraid to be firm

Children misbehave. We discipline for two reasons. One is for temporary peace, while the other is for their long term benefit. Sometimes these blend together. What is important is that you establish your role as an authority figure early and often. They will test their mother, but they should know never to test you.